I had always wanted to shave my head, just once in my life. To shed a part of my ever present vanity, to prove to myself that I’m not unattractive, and to face the fear of being considered unfeminine.. And I did just that…because, at 40, I was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma and my oncologist assured me that my protocol of chemo therapy would remove my hair. So, as a preemptive strike, I sat on my friend’s porch, and he shaved my head. It was not the circumstances under which I wanted to face this particular fear however.
So the picture you see is me – this year – at 48, seven years cancer free. I sat in my son’s barber’s chair, held my breath and said, “Remember years ago when you said you’d love to cut my hair off?” He smiled and went to town! I was really nervous and it was exhilarating (Thank you Scott Simon for being there) And here’s what I learned.
- I’m not hideous.
- Not all men prefer long hair on a woman.
- I don’t care if a man (or anyone really ) thinks I’m attractive or not according to their standards.
- I love the way short hair looks on me, but prefer the ‘feel’ of longer hair.
- I kept it short for 2 months, and am now growing it out.
I’m proud of myself…sometimes you have to do something just to see whether or not it’s right for you.
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