For Scare Your Soul, I decided to step outside my comfort zone and do a photography boudoir shoot.
I would never in a million years do one but I entered a contest to be a pin up model for a local photographer that wanted to get real women to be models for their upcoming Chicago Pin Up magazine. So I was chosen to be one of their pin up models. This was exciting and terrifying at the same time. I felt honored that they chose me and scared that now I really had to do this photo shoot. There was no turning back and since I was their model, I had to do whatever they needed for the look they were going for. I hate it when people take pictures of me, I have always been so self critical of all of my pictures done by photographers starting as young as grade school. I always feel so vulnerable in front of a camera because I don’t know what the photographer sees, can they see all my flaws and insecurities? Selfies never bothered me because I can control what I see but I can’t control what the photographer sees. I always feel naked and exposed.
So this was my chance to overcome that fear and just dive into those insecurities that I feel about myself.
At first, I was so very nervous and crazy scared to do this photo shoot. There were many times that I tried to talk myself out of it. But I wanted to do this scare your soul challenge to prove to myself that I can do something scary and be a better person from the experience. And you know what… I felt like a bad ass, I felt bold and strong, and even though I am going to expose this picture to the world, it is ok because I know the picture will reflect the inner beauty and strength that I was feeling.